To Love or Not To Love…….

Today as I sit here in Starbucks, sipping on some decaf coffee and meditating on life, ministry, love and relationships I somewhat came to a loss for words. Reason being is that most relationships and marriages I have seen are not conducive to house real love only lust. It does not emulate the epitome of love nor does it express godly love. Since I had been single for a while, I had gotten used to being alone. I found myself content being single and once I evaluated other relationships I had no desire to be in one. I guess if you have never seen or had real godly love that can turn your heart, open your eyes, stimulate your mind and give you hope then you will question does true love really exist.

I still believe that there are some men out there that know how to SHOW love and make love to your mind before they ever touch your body. I do believe that there are some men out there that will love god more than their mate. I do have hope that God is still developing some men for the single women who desire to be married. I don’t believe in judging all men the same because there are some men who desire the same as we do. Real love, a praying woman of God, a woman who does not nag, a woman who still believes in cooking and cleaning and not just dining out and traveling all the time. Women still desire an old fashioned guy who believes in taking care of home literally and working hard and treating her how God desires her to be treated.

So relationships are a two way street. You have to give and receive. You have to love to be loved and you have to pray in order to be prayed for. The bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing AND obtains favor with The Lord. So, if in fact the man chooses the woman God placed in his life and that he prayed for, then when he marries her; he receives an extra dose of favor from God. Now that to me sounds like a double blessing!!!! He already honors marriage so, to then get favor added is a double blessing!

Ladies if you desire a Boaz please have some Ruth qualities. Ladies if you are praying for a husband, please be marriage material. Please marry for love and companionship on top of other things. Because when you are in a season of disagreements you need to be able to LOVE past that even when you don’t like your spouse! Marriage is work, marriage is ministry not just sex! Don’t open up a man or woman’s heart if you are not prepared to minister to them! Don’t take n responsibility if you are not prepared to be responsible for that individuals life the bible declares that the two shall become one. Make sure that your mate is in the will of God for your life because the last thing you should be is married and miserable!

Men please make sure you understand what it is you’re taking on before you step from relationship to marriage. Always be friends first! Get to know the woman, take your time and most importantly make dating fun, develop a prayer life together. Always take important steps as far as getting your credit together before marrying, get counseling and make sure you LIKE one another. I know a lot of couples that’s just dealing with each other because they feel stuck but they can’t stand each other.

Date who you want to become. What I mean is, don’t date someone who is a dope dealer, no future and a bunch of baby mama’s if you’re looking to build a business, travel and make investments to better your life and lifestyle. That makes no sense to me. Sometimes you have to upgrade and force your mind to go with you. It’s called growth! I heard someone say that she wanted a business man, gentle with a little bit of thug. All I could do was look dumb founded. What?! No, no, no! What you need to do is et your mind right, re-evaluate your standards, requirements and get to know Jesus. Get YOU together first. Because last time I checked, Bill Gates did not have an ounce of thug in him, yet he’s a gentle business man with loads of money.

Sometimes ladies you have missed your blessing and you just gotta wait until God feels you can handle and will accept who HE desires you to be with. But most times there is no substance and patience in women and some women don’t know their worth so they settle and marry the first thug with some slacks on! Silly women is what my pastor calls them! I agree!

Men marry someone who can pray for you and with you. Marry someone who can make your money grow more than she spends it. Find a woman who doesn’t mind being dedicated to the home, cooking and traveling but loves God more than she loves you. Those are the women who normally gets spoiled and well taken care of. She compliments her man, makes him feel like a million bucks and also makes him look good in public.

These are my thoughts as I sit here sipping n my coffee in Starbucks………

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