This topic is a very sensitive one. It comes about because it touches someone dear to my heart. But once you begin to read this if in fact you are single and saved you should be celibate. However, this is not always the case and transparent as I am, I have found myself on both ends of the rope. It is literally like tug of war. On one side of your mind, you’re fighting to maintain your celibacy and on the other end you’re fighting to keep thus relationship. In fear of not knowing if they will walk away if you refuse to compromise your relationship with Christ.
This brings us to this point, God loves you so much that He knows the plans He has for you; they are to prosper you and not harm you. In the Bible it teaches us to abstain from sex while being single because it protects us. It’s like when we were younger and our mothers would say; “if you play with fire, you will get burned”. Same applies here. If we continue to play with fire we shall get burned. There is no beating like a beating from The Lord. This goes back to First Kings 1:49 & 50, where it talks about Adanijah appointing himself king when God had not told him that he would be king but in fact Solomon would be appointed king. Adanijah continued to disobey God thinking no one would know and finally God sat him down and he begged for mercy and forgiveness. That is exactly how we are today. We date, fornicate and end up hurt, but guess what God is hurt the moment we date someone who we are not equally yoked with. God is hurt when we disregard His holy word. God is hurt because we are hurt. Had we listened to the voice of God that was telling us to wait and telling us that he or she is not the one to be with, we would not be hurt. Sometimes man’s rejection is really God’s protection.
God loves us and wants the best for us but because we are in our flesh in our thinking, ways and we want a microwave blessing, we move ahead of God and put the cart before the horse and we literally “miss” God by being impatient. So, now here we are soul tied, spiritually bound and having to Start our first works all over again. The blessing in this is God is so forgiving and because He loves us just as we’re are, He puts our sins in the sea of forgetfulness,He forgives us, He dusts us off and then He begins to do spiritual surgery and stitch us back together.
My words of encouragement to you is; wait on God. Forgive yourself and know that while waiting on God, wait IN God. What I mean is get busy in ministry,serve God like never before. Find hobbies and tap into your gifts to get busy and keep your mind occupied. Allow yourself time to heal before you get into another relationship. Allow God to get you together. Do not be ashamed because you’re single. Do not be ashamed if your a little older and still single. Do not allow negative thoughts into your mind. It is very unhealthy to jump from relationship to relationship because you’re not healed. Allow yourself some “me time”. Connect with other singles who you have something uncommon with and go bowling,skating,out to eat,rock climbing,go cart riding and skating. Also, go to matinees with your friends. There’s so much to do as a single person. You can have fun and live a full, vibrant life as a single person until God sends your mate.
Never despise your process. The process is to purge you,prune you and heal you so you can then go forth and do ministry FIRST. God says ” seek ye first the kingdom of God all His righteousness, then all things shall be added”. God knows you desire a mate.but He wants you to date and marry someone who emulates HIM. Someone who can cover you in prayer, a provider, a protector, a prayer partner,a bible study partner and someone who He can trust with your heart and soul. Someone who does not want you to compromise your relationship with God because he won’t compromise for you. Someone who doesn’t want to spend the night but will talk to you on the phone all night and pray with you. Someone who will not only go to church with you but someone who lives for God for real and not fronting just to get you.
Being single is a time to get to know YOU and GOD a whole lot better. I speak from experience because I, myself have been there and done that and got a sad badge for it!!! But, I love you enough to be honest. Now is the time to prepare yourself so you can be ready when the time comes and you don’t have to get ready and then miss your blessing. You always should be a blessing and a help mate for the man. You should never be a headache or hindrance. When you meet a real man of God, you will see the difference and know exactly what I mean. Real men of God don’t even look at us women when we messed up. We can look good on the outside but because he has a prayer life, he looks first at your spirit and heart and not at the outward appearance. He see a headache coming down the walk way. In essence, he speaks and keeps it moving. For. Season, men of God don’t date messed us women…period!!! God will not allow you to receive a blessing from Him when you are not ready. I don’t blame Him. Why should God bless you with a saved, financially stable, God fearing, tithing praying, humble, strong and bold man for you to mess him up with your baggage, nagging, insecurities, bad spending habits, you don’t cook, can’t clean and all you want to do is look good, ride good, smell good but it ain’t all good at home. No, no, no. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, it will not happen. Now another man, an unsaved man will tolerate all that to get your panties off and dive in. Lets keep it real. People don’t want to talk about the ugly truth but, we have to in order to get healed. He so done told me before I would be married by now. I’m just keeping it real.
I say this is love because I’ve been there, I love you and want to help you become the person God created you to be. Until our next chat, be blessed!!!