Knowing When 2 Let Go

The topic often rings a bell that women and men that are scorned or heartbroken just don’t know when to let go. Relationships are for the majority of the time a beautiful thing. However, when it goes sour, it normally ends bad. The problem lies in 1. Communication 2. Trust 3. Again, the Failure to communicate how you really feel and the fact it took you an extra 6 months to tell someone that you don’t want them. My issue in this is 1. Don’t string people along. 2. Don’t take away their option away to say if they want to deal with the non sense. People don’t realize that if you’re honest upfront in the beginning and through out the friendship or relationship you avoid the long, drawn out breakup with all the drama and confusion. SIDENOTE…….for the women and men that believe in Facebook,twitter and Instagram stalking, blowing up the phone when the other party refuses to answer and sends you to voicemail, riding by their house, riding by their job; let me tell you now; They DO NOT want you at all. This takes place after they have made it clear that they do not want you. Its over, they’re moving on and nine times out of ten they got somebody else. So,please do yourself and them a favor and let it go. That’s how you know when to let go but, you keep running around here playing the crying game and you gonna be in jail or hurt somewhere because now you are stalking them. Let it go boo boo. God has somebody else for you that will love your lil crazy self just for you and only you. It’s all in love. It’s all in love so smile.

Now, back to those of you who lack communication skills. If you know you do not want to be with someone, whether they are hurt or mad or both, it’s your responsibility to TELL them. Don’t assume, they’ll get the picture, catch a hint and please don’t do the ultimate no no and you just so happen to get caught with somebody else. Man up or woman up and simply tell them the best way you know how in a sincere way. Have some dignity about it and let them down easy because its nothing worse than humiliating someone who loves you and is in love with you. My thing is for men, if you have a mom, daughter, sister, aunts and grandmothers; you know you would not want anyone to do it to them. You’d be pissed off and ready to hurt that man. So my question to you who does those things, why do you do it to someone else’s daughter???? I always tell my son, who is 20; be mindful of how you treat or mistreat a woman. I advise him to never intentionally hurt a woman and don’t string her along. I also tell him never have sex with them if he does not plan to have a future with them so therefore abstinence is best. I remind him that one day he’ll have a daughter of his own and he wants her to be with someone who respects her, loves her and cares for her as well as protect and provide. All I can do is pray he listens to me.

Now, it’s not always men who does the most damage. As much as men feel like they are playing women, I believe you can never out play a woman because we too slick if we want to be. Women can be so slick that they will literally have you fooled into thinking they are only dating you. They will be on a date and talking to you on the phone at the same time and neither of the men have a clue. I’ve seen a female go on two dates in one night and get money from both dudes and didn’t give out any sex. Was I amazed??? Nope, because its in us women. We can be loyal and dedicated to one dude or we can be a player and get what we need from many dudes but only sleeping with that one who knows how to give it to us real good or to that one we plan on settling down with. Now, I am celibate but before I gave my life to Christ I’ve been on both ends. So, trust me it can be done and has been and still is by my sisters around the globe. Now, I can’t tell everything so I will stop here, but just know men it all has a way of coming back on you. Might not be tomorrow or next week, but it’s coming.

For my ladies, when do we know that it’s time to let it go??? If he’s not into you, stop pretending that you don’t see the warning signs and red flags. They are all in your face, but you just so in love you’re ignoring them by choice. Now once he has distanced himself, lying, canceling dates, no showing, ignoring your calls and texts, avoiding you, not intimate with you as often anymore, no more dates, he’s hanging with the boys all the time (excuse to not see you) has to pick up kids, gotta go see about his mama and all the other excuses he has given you; Please let it go!!!

When you see him out and about but he told you he had to work, let it go! When he is always working late now, but money don’t match the time, let it go! I can go on and on and on, but nine times out of ten,women know for real when to let it go. We just play dumb like we don’t know because we have a hard time dealing with rejection. But ladies let me tell you a secret. That rejection is Gods protection. Keep that in mind and do yourself a favor and move on. Let go of the past so you can embrace your future. There is greater in store for you my love. I’ve been there, I’m transparent and do not front like I haven’t been, but time waits on no one and I refuse to stay in a dead end relationship with anybody. It’s unfair to you, so treat yourself better and expect better. When you know better, you do better. When you do better, you receive better.

Knowing when to let go and actually letting go is also an issue. Women can see the red flags and know that it’s time to let go, but because we hope they’ll change or we think that we can change them or we go the extra mile to do extra stuff trying to get their attention back on us we find ourselves stressed out, crying and beating ourselves up. In reality, at that point it’s not the mans fault. It is our fault. You can’t make a man love you, a baby won’t keep him and marriage is not an option at this point. Just simply, let it go. Let it go.

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