Sometimes I wonder why some women get so upset with men when they approach them in a certain way that they feel is disrespectful. Some men approach women based off of what they wear first because they can’t help but notice your attire. Sometimes women dress so provocative and over the top or under dressed. I honestly would love to do real talk panels for women, especially single women in today’s society because I want to know what makes us, as women dress the way we do, what goes through our minds, what has provoked you to take on this mindset and make you say to yourself, even though this dress is so short, if I bend over you can see my tail, but it’s cute and I’m going to wear it anyway. Then, the first man that approaches you about your body or your dress, your neck gets to rolling, fingers snapping and you’re cussing him out from the north, south, the east and the west! Like, for real? Really?????
So, today it crossed my mind that we need to be able to hold one another accountable without us thinking we’re trying to dictate your life or tell you what to do or judge you!!! Because the first thing we think is. Oh she think she better than me or she jealous of me!!! Really??? Why??? And why would be??? We need to help you my sister because had somebody helped us a while back, we would’ve been mad but we would have been thankful and appreciative of the loving, constructive criticism. It is all in HOW you say it and WHEN you say it. It is always timing. Say it in love and it is received in love. Say it in hate, it is indeed received in hate. Lets stick together and stop being so sensitive to sensitive matters of the heart.
I remember being in Lenox mall a few months back. I saw a young girl, she had the tightest pair of pants I’d seen since paint. As soon as she sat down her tail was hanging out and it was apparent she had no drawers on. I saw so so so so so so many women walk by whisper, giggle and point at her and not one woman said to her that her back side was hanging out. True enough, I’m sure she knew, but even so lets help a sister out. I politely went up to her, whispered in her ear and said “sweetie, your backside is hanging out”. She said thank you for telling me. She then proceeded to tell her friend I’m glad somebody told me because she did not know. Now, I agree she should have put some panties on before she put them pants on, but because that’s her personal business and not mine and that’s just my opinion; she was still appreciative that I told her instead of allowing her to walk around and look crazy. Wy her friend didn’t tell her? Because her outfit was just as raunchy, so this is a lifestyle for them. Sad as it may be, it is.
Now, a man is a man. They are equipped and built to LOOK! As sad as it is,they are driven by sex appeal. I don’t care how saved, sanctified, fire baptized and Holy Ghost filled that man is; he’s a man and he likes a nice body. As long as he got eyes, he’s going to look. Bottom line. Now, when it comes to what he wants to take home as a wife, other things come into play beyond looks. Looks is the bonus. When it comes to being a one night stand, a side piece or just something they happen to notice in the store, get a look and keep it moving is something else. Where do you find yourself at based on attire first,daily upkeep of hygiene and credit, character, personality and so many other things. Right now, how do you dress and how does it reflect your relationships and friendships??? How does it affect your home life with kids and family??? Even for those of us women who dress like we are an old lady and we may be in our thirties. Some men can see the potential. Beauty but are you covering it up and it is too much work to break through? That’s another post, so lets focus on ladies if it is not for sale then take the sign down. Stop going out in public looking like you’re going to The Blue Flame to do your set for tonight on stage.
You can be classy and still be sexy. Maybe you need to get a personal stylist if you can afford it. Maybe ask somebody at church or at work who knows how to dress to help you out. Maybe go online and see what body shape you have and what fashion accentuates your shape and figure and then just go try on some clothes and play around in the dressing rooms of some classier stores and play dress up. Then if you’re on a budget, still do the above but then shop at consignment shops and the thrift stores. I kid you not, consignment and thrift stores in high end, middle class areas have some really nice gently used and new items that are name brand and affordable. I’m not too good to go, so I do!!!!
So, ladies lets just keep in mind and be mindful of how we present ourselves to the world. Keep in mind that you attract what you are. You get what you put out. That goes for friendships, relationships, jobs and all. Be mindful if you have kids, especially going to their schools. It’s embarrassing. If you have daughters, you’re teaching them this same behavior because no matter what you say, our children watch what we DO!!! Bottom line.
Please know I love you my beautiful sisters and queens. We are here to uplift each other, to encourage each other and love one another. No drama, no stress and no worries. It’s all love!!!