Miss Independent

I see absolutely nothing wrong with being a single, independent female in today’s society. I agree that if you are well and able, healthy and full of drive, passion and intelligence then, go for it!!! My only issue with this is, do you know how to separate it in relationships and do you know how to switch hats and just be his lady when in a relationship. All men love a woman that is doing her thing is actually a help mate instead of a hindrance. I hear so many women shouting from the roof tops that they don’t need a man, they are fine being single and that a man has to be super awesome to change their single status. However……….I see too often these same women and others are going home alone at night, they are actually lonely instead of alone because there is a difference and they are praying for a man harder than Noah prayed for the rain to stop!!!! So, lets be real with ourselves today my beautiful queens. The honest truth is no matter how we proclaim to be this hard core I work hard independent mantra; we would love to be married because that is what God intended and how He designed us. If we can be honest enough to be vulnerable enough and to be transparent enough, he may just come along.

We must soften the blow, lighten the attitude and be for real about what we want. Stop being ashamed because you are alone. See, it’s shameful when you haven’t realized you are lonely and you then become thirsty and then you keep attracting Mr.Wrong every single time until you slap yourself and stop the madness. You don’t have to talk to every man that approaches you. Stop it! You look easy, thirsty and a mess. Ok, I’ve been there. It’s okay, just stop. See, I didn’t have anyone to tell me this. Instead they just sat back, watched and laughed and judged. Instead of keeping it real with me and letting me know how pathetic I looked in the past! But it’s cool because I’m going to help my sisters from now on. We must stick together and help each other out. We must do better.

Back to business……

There’s nothing wrong with being in love. We’ve been hurt a time or two or more… 😉 but let it go and let it not dictate your future. Every man is not the same. Really. God has a man just for you. So, after you have accomplished all your dreams, goals and achievements wouldn’t it be nice to share a life of love with it? You can’t travel with yourself forever and say you’re just fine. If you did , I honestly think you’d be kidding yourself to avoid dealing with the facts. I’m not saying date just any old man now, lets be wise here. What I am saying is soften your heart but guard it at the same time and when love does come, if its the right man who God has sent then, allow love in and to blossom and flourish in your life. You’ll see just how beautiful it is and how sweet it smells. You’ll actually love it.

Being independent is a beautiful thing as well. It is what you have dreamed of doing. It is your life and all that you have achieved. It is your livelihood and your passion so yes be independent but don’t allow that one sided mentality of it make you miss out on true love from God! As you continue on in your dreams and quests, remember that love is on your side and it isn’t against you. It is for you when it’s the right person for you. You deserve the best because that’s what God wants for you. It’ll go along with your inner beauty, the beauty of your accomplishments and the beauty of the love you have to give.

Side note: when the man does come along, don’t be so rough and hard. It’s okay to smile and not frown all the time. Remember, he’s not that guy who you used to be with. He’s not that guy who hurt you or lied to you or cheated on you or used you. He’s not your past. He is a sign of hope, newness, freshness and the future (maybe). Don’t rush either, let it take its course and just flow one day at a time. One phone call at a time. One date at a time. Now he must absolutely recognize your worth. He can not come with the foolishness and bafoonery at all because yes he will get dismissed. However, he must court you, respect you and acknowledge that he understands his position in this could be relationship. Just show him a little mercy until he proves he’s worthy of your love.

So, you can be as independent as you want to be, just remember to be loving and kind to yourself as well.

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