I post a lot about the single life and relationships. I post on how to wait on God and remain prayerful while waiting for a godly mate to find you. This goes for men and women. Some don’t think men experience the issues of dating and a continual run in with women who only want them for their money, sex, time and for some it is just the comfort of not having to be alone. Sometimes men experience almost the same as us women,but they don’t outwardly express it like we do. Majority of the time,people waste time being in meaningless relationships to prevent from being alone. People do not like to be alone because they do not want to be alone facing their truths. Nothing is worse than being in a relationship with someone who has not dealt with their reality. Most times they come into a relationship eager and anxious because they just want a man or woman. They have not taken the time to get to know self. They get caught up in the idea of just being in a relationship. they get caught up in the title relationship because they don’t know who they are and they allow the title relationship to define who they are as an individual.They have not taken time to heal from their past. They have not taken time to get their credit together. They have not taken time to develop healthy relationships with others. They have not taken time to learn how to love self. They have not done any soul searching and allowed their brokenness to be restored from within. They have their mind set on being married. Why???? Do you really know what it takes for a marriage to work? Do you even know if you are marriage ready? Do you know what The Lord says about marriage in depth?! Have you been content being single? Have you lived a full and happy life as a single person? Have you respected self? Have you developed a Christ like character and do you have any integrity to be able to tell the truth even when it hurts? Do you keep a clean house? Are your kids respectful? Do you have a healthy relationship with your children? Do you wash clothes, do you know how to grocery shop and do you budget your money well??? Do you keep yourself up? Do you go to the doctor and dentist? Will your future mate be proud to have you on their arm? Can you cook more than burgers and hot dogs? do you stay on the phone gossiping? Do you manage time well? These are serious questions to consider. Consider all these questions before you go out putting yourself on display because wise men and women see baggage, they see stress, they see a headache, they see you as a hindrance versus a help mete. Before you display yourself, please make sure that everything is in tact and ready to buy because if not they may date you for a while and keeps you on layaway. They do not want to purchase a broken necklace, they return it and purchase one that is together and whole without any kinks and missing pieces. That is something they can and will adorn themselves with and wear proudly out in public to show off!!! What does your display case look like???
Or have you just been jumping from relationship to relationship because you have decided not to wait on God? Have you been jumping from person to person spreading “love” everywhere? Have you been in and out of relationships like you’re changing lanes because you have no peace within? Have you searched you heart to see why you can’t keep a relationship? Have you examined your ways? Have you considered your lifestyle, your attitude or your insecurities? Have you noticed any weak areas in your life? If so, would you really wait before entering into a relationship and messing it up along with be unfairly dumping your mess on someone else?
Even if you have a car, house and god credit; what is your attitude like? What is your prayer life like? What is your relationship like with family and friends? What is your relationship like with God? How do you see yourself? Are you really ready for a relationship let alone marriage? Can you honestly say yes? Have you untruthfully convinced yourself that you are marriage ready??? Have you convinced yourself that a relationship will complete you? Has your mind convinced you that you must be in a relationship to be whole? You do realize God brings two whole people together and not two incomplete individuals? This is why most don’t work because they go in expecting for this person to complete them. It can’t be done because they are not God and only God completes us. That is the bottom line.
Some people don’t like to deal with the truth but I do. I’m a stickler for black and white. There is no grey area. The grey area represents uncertainty. You don’t know if it’s going to turn put black or white. That’s confusion and God is not a God of confusion. He is a God of peace. Anytime God blesses you with anything, it will always be peace with it and no sorrow. But because some choose not to learn how to be whole and complete and at peace while being single, they quickly jump into various relationships with people who do not deserve their time nor energy. This is the time to relax, release and recover and restore while God redeems you. Travel, sleep on, get manicure and pedicures, laugh a little more, smile when you look in the mirror, pray more and consecrate yourself before The Lord. Get to know who YOU are while being single. For the first time in my life, I am so elated to be single because I am totally free. I do not have to cook if I don’t want too, I can pray all day if i want too, I can stay in all day or go as I please. I can stay up late reading my Bible or stay up late and watch a movie if I want too. I’m enjoying being single. I love taking ME out on dates. I love going for walks alone and I’m able to think and be refreshed. I am becoming one with me. So when I do meet my future mate, I’ll be whole and complete and ready for love. For now, I’m embracing who God has created me to be. At this point in my life, I can honestly say that I Love Me!!!!
I no longer wish I could be in a relationship because I know it will happen when it is suppose too. I no longer hate going to weddings and just being the bridesmaid! I can honestly be happy for others in relationships because I’m happy with myself, because I love myself now. Life is all about timing and how much time will it take for you to realize that being single is really a blessing. Being single is really okay. Being single really is the new sexy. Being single is where you can commit to The Lord and wait on Him to bring you a king or queen. Never feel less than because you are single. Never feel inadequate or insecure because you are single. To be honest, it’s some married couples that wished they’d have taken this advice today!!!
So, on this day I encourage to embrace your singleness and stop running from that status. I encourage you to wait and learn to love self. Learn to fall in love with You. There are some great things about you. There are some amazing qualities you possess. You are beautiful no matter what you have been through. You are a jewel and your future awaits you!!! You ask how can I do that??? I got the answer for you! I’ll never leave you hanging!
Learn to love yourself so the next time you say it; you can really mean it. Smile and enjoy your day!!! Make sure your display case is clean on the inside as well as on the outside. Don’t get all dressed up on the outside and you have failed to take inventory and clean the inside of the display case. You can have your hair, nails and toes done ,but when a man gets to know you for you; you holding grudges from the past,unwilling to forgive and forget, your heart is in shambles and you want someone else to play Mr. Clean!!! No, no,no,no,no!!! What you need to do is stop chasing men,women and relationships and get your ” display case” in tact! People will forever keep passing by your display case because you have nothing of value to showcase. Your looks will not keep a man or woman! Are you even able to hold a decent conversation about history, taxes, government or simple math? Some may say it does not take all that, for some it does. It depends on what you are asking God for in a mate. You can not be walking around talking slang but you want to attract a well educated spouse. That makes no sense. I said it before and I’ll say it again; you attract what you are. Whatever is on the inside is what you will attract on the outside. So, lets clean up these display cases and stop trying to sell cubic zirconia and let’s display these diamonds!!! Go forth and shine bright people, bright like a diamond!!!!