I never understood when I was younger why the older people would say, save yourself for marriage. I also heard protect my innocence and my body is the temple of God. I really did not understand how important being a virgin is. I looked around and it seemed as though everyone was having sex. Being a virgin just was not the norm. I was not really educated on STD’s or safe sex. I was never educated on virginity either. All I ever heard was basically “don’t have sex”. No one ever explained to me why I shouldn’t or the consequences of the act if I did. As I got older and became more aware of the consequences, I then realized a little too late that my innocence had been stripped away from me at a very young age. It really messed with my mind for a very long time because it led me down a path of uncertainty and confusion. I began dating all the wrong men. These men did not value who I was nor did they have my best interest at heart.
Once I gave my life to Christ I began to read and study the anatomy of the body, why being celibate was sacred to God and that my body is the temple of God. Scripture tells us that our body belongs to God. That He is a jealous God and that He ordained sex for marriage. When God created Adam, He felt Adam needed a mate. He created Eve from the rib of Adam. He then said it is good to have her. If you dig a little deeper you will see that as we engage in sexual intercourse we begin to relish in “soul ties”. What that means is, because sex was intended and still is for holy matrimony, we have subjected ourselves to be tied to everything this person has experienced. A soul tie is dangerous when it is not your husband or wife. Even if this person is the sweetest person and loves you, whatever they have been through whether it be rape, molestation, abuse,promiscuity, a spirit of lying,cheating,etc. if they have not been delivered or been through counseling and received help, you are taking on all those spirits that is in their inner man; their soul and tying it to yours. That is a soul tie. Even all the people they have been intimate with, it is like spiritually having intimacy with them as well!!! When you think about it, itis quite frightening!!!! But, thanks be unto God!!!
The Bible also declares that once we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior old things are passed away and all things become new! Meaning once we repent of our sins,accept Jesus and turn from our wicked ways that we are a new creature. Now that’s the spiritual aspect of this. In the natural we must still make regular doctor visits to make sure we are healthy and taking care of ourselves. But, isn’t it a blessing to know that God loves us so much to wash away our sins that we partook in before we were saved by His grace and gives us a fresh start? He loves us that much.
It is a process that takes some getting used too. Not having sex to some people seems stupid. When I say I am celibate, I get the weirdest looks sometimes. I only wish I could be saying I’m a virgin, but I still feel pretty awesome to be saving myself for a husband one day. Just knowing that I committed myself to God and waited patiently on a spouse while living a happy and single life is pretty awesome to me and for me!!! In the beginning,I thought I would not be able to do it. As the first month went by, I was ok. Then, the second month went by and it was torture! I can laugh now, but at first I was thinking to myself,I will not last. I used to sleep with pillows between my legs because the urge was driving me crazy. I stopped dating until I was able to handle my celibacy around others. I wouldn’t even talk to men because I wanted to be committed to ME. As more months went by, I began to get a handle on it and I realized that I could do it.
Before I knew it, a whole year had went by and then two years went by. I was so excited and overwhelmed at the same time!!! I was actually proud of ME! So, when I tell you that it is achievable, please believe me. It also brought me closer to God and my prayer life is amazing. I love God and I Know God loves me and I am being made whole and delivered from my past. I thank God for the blood of Jesus that washes away my dirtiness and all the things that hurt my spiritual father. God loves me more than I can ever love myself; because of this fact I know that when He does bless me with a spouse, it will be well worth the wait. My obedience will provoke God to bless me with the best!!! While God is preparing me for a mate, He is divinely arranging for my future marriage to be a blessing to others as well. This is why I say and stand on, no sex before marriage!
Ladies, no matter how many times you have sex with a man, it will not make him commit any sooner than he wants too. Keep in mind, that is IF he wants too. Sex will not keep a man and a baby will not make him stay. Men love a challenge. They love the fact that they have to chase you. They love the fact that you are strong and able to wait. It allows them the chance to get to know you for who you really are. It allows the man to grow on you, to fall in love and actually court you, have real conversations and allow him to make love to your mind first. Ladies, men love when a woman exudes beauty from within. You can be classy and sexy at the same time. Men love when you don’t appear to be desperate and anxious. Men loves confidence in a woman. Confidence is your best accessory!!! I’m not saying that a man will not take the the sex if you’re dishing it out, but I can promise you he will look at you differently. He may even still “try” you because he’s testing you to see if your relationship with God is for real and to see if you are easy. Even if he tells you he doesn’t, he does. In his mind he is thinking if you are really worth a ring, how fast it took you to give it up, what your house looks like, how well you take care of your kids if you have any and if you are worth his future. In reality this is what we should be asking ourselves because we are the prize. We are the jewel that they’d love to showcase. However, if we do not present ourselves as a precious gift, if we allow them to unwrap the gift too early (before marriage) and play with the gift without earning it then the tables turn. In the end, you are well worth the wait and the ring only if you believe you are. Men know when you are insecure, has low self esteem and baggage. It’s all over you, so that’s when you attract the wrong man and you settle because you’re just happy to have a man. Come on ladies, it’s time to stop blaming the men. Now please do not get me wrong, they have their issues too, but we are in control of our happiness. No man has that control unless we give it to him. Again, stop giving up the cookies when he’s not even worth it. Stop settling when you know you have red flags and warning signs all in your face. Stop being desperate. It’s so obvious when we settle that we were just lonely and unhappy within. Do not set yourself up for heartache and then blame the man. They only do what we as women allow them to do.
Dig deep ladies and lets hold each other to a higher standard. Lets be real with each other in love and let’s accept our ugly truths and work together. I see so many women fighting and arguing over men and some women are willing to share a man!! I’m thinking to myself this is non sense, where they do that at???!!! God did not create all this confusion and mess, we did. I read a post one day on Facebook that stated; ” I have heels higher than your standards” that’s sad and funny at the same time because it is true. But, we as women can change that. You mean to tell me your standards are no higher than six inches??? That says a lot about you and how you see yourself. God loves you too much for you to settle and think you can not have a healthy relationship if you abstain from sex before marriage. If he or she does not feel you are worthy of marriage, keep it moving. Majority of the time, people are meant to be friends only but cross the friend zone and mess up a perfectly good friendship trying to make it a relationship because they just want to have sex. There is nothing wrong with being just friends. That friend may have a friend that is supposed to be your mate, but because you chose not to wait, you missed your blessing!
I encourage you ladies to commit yourselves to The Lord. You do not have to be perfect, but at least try. God is waiting on you, to perfect you and complete you. Your first love is God. God will show you what real love is. Until our next chat, luv and peace!