In today’s society, it is a sad thing to feel as if there is something wrong with being single. Most people will quickly judge and begin to ask questions. They ask is something wrong or is he or she crazy or just simply why are they single as if it is a disease or something. I fell into that mentality long ago thinking something was wrong with me because I was single. I began to analyze everything I did, ate,wore,etc. I began to attract the wrong men because instead of me focusing on ME and being happy with me the way I was, I allowed the stereotype to overwhelm me. The stereotype of my singleness and that something was wrong If I did not have a man.
After going through what seemed like hell and high water of these nut cases, I realized that I needed to be alone with me. I needed to date myself and fall in love with me and everything about me. I began to pray and seek the face of God and realize that there was so much I did not love or like about me. I definitely did not need to be in a relationship with anyone except God. I needed to be fixed and only the one who created me could fix me. I began to really live out that song Me, Myself and I by Destiny’s Child. It was a rough process because I had to get used to being alone and not always having someone here. I needed to face my ugly truths and be healed and allow the man to find me and allow the relationship to just happen. We as women make the mistake of trying to force a relationship, make someone love you and force marriage. That only forces the man to literally run the other way! Women are so emotional and men are so logical. Once the line has been crossed and sex has been had, we as women automatically assume that man is going to marry us or some women settle for just moving in. My father used to tell me why buy the cow, if he is getting the milk for free. I learned the hard way! Ladies, if you know you can not handle being just friends, friends with benefits or just simply being a booty call; why in the world are you settling? Why are you living beneath your rights??? God says, be holy for I am holy. Meaning, your body is the temple of God and you should treat it as royalty. Let the man court you, date you and open doors. Chivalry is not dead, we just don’t wait. We end up settling for “joe blow” and then when he leaves you and your heart is broken, you move to another relationship with baggage and expect the new man to fix what the old man messed up. My advice to you is to wait on the Lord!!!
What we, as women fail to realize is that celibacy really is sexy. Men don’t want a loose woman. Not to say that he won’t have sex, but he will not marry you. Older men will marry sometimes more quickly than younger men, even then they do not want a loose woman. Your body is precious, treat it with respect. You can not expect a man or anyone else to respect you if you don’t. There is nothing wrong with being single. Single gives you a chance to learn who you really are, come and go as you please, date every now and then and date yourself. It gives you the chance to travel. If you’re a single mom, like me; devote that time to traveling and teaching your child or children. Be a role model for them. Never be desperate or jealous because your friends are dating and getting married. God has not forgotten about you. Learn how to be happy and content being single so when the right person does come along, you do not have any baggage or hang ups. You are whole and free of from your past.
I agree, marriage is a beautiful thing. But a happy and healthy marriage is even more beautiful and a blessing. Being single is a beautiful thing as well when you learn to embrace it. I’ve learned to go to the movies, dinner, shopping and travel with just Me, Myself and I. I love it because I am learning who I am and I have found a brand new ME!!!